The funny thing about vacationing with family is that no matter what you do or how you mentally prepare for it, when you stuff four people into the closed, contained space of an SUV for 8 consecutive hours, there are bound to be fights, quarrels, and the occasional ahem constant yelling. And that is exactly what happened this holiday when my family and I drove down to Clearwater Beach in Florida. I don't think there was a twenty-minute span where me and my brother were not going at it. I even amazed myself at how short my temper was, even though I kept telling myself keep it together, keep it together, there aren't many more opportunities like this that you'll be able to spend with family. 

The beautiful thing about vacationing with family is that no matter what happens, you know that it will be a trip worth remembering. And that was exactly that. Fun, exciting, eventful, annoying, frustrating, long, short, beautiful, breathtaking, memorable... Every single moment was memorable because it was a moment spent with family.




 
Until next time.

To me, music is like a fine perfume. They tell brides to use a new fragrance just for the wedding because scents can evoke memories. So every time you take a whiff of that Chanel Coco Mademoiselle, you will be taken back to the whispering touch of your veil hitting the top of your cheekbone ever so slightly every time the wind blew, almost rhythmically. Through the lacy seams you peer up, seeing the perfectly-positioned bow tie on the man soon-to-be your husband.



Here's to the song I first heard with you. We were sitting on the futon under my bed. I could feel the weight of your chest. All the lights were off except the yellowish glimmer from the starry string lights I had hung underneath the railings of the bed. I ordered them online thinking that they would create a romantic ambience in my not-so-romantic dorm room. And they did. I told you that I liked this song. You said you did too. I asked you if it was from a movie. You said you didn't think so. But that wasn't good enough for me so you looked it up on your phone. But I guess we didn't google the right search terms... or maybe we just didn't care enough at that moment. Because then your lips touched mine. And everything was suddenly okay.

Hey, you want to know something?Mhmm.I love you.

Last night he told me that he loved me. It was sort of a surreal moment. You know, one of those times where you feel like you're watching a movie of your life. A bystander peering through the lens. Yeah, it was one of those.

I really wanted to say "I love you" back, but for some reason it wouldn't come out. He told me that it was okay, there was no rush to say it, but that he wanted to tell me first regardless of what my response was. But it's not like I haven't had the thoughts before. In fact, there have been countless times in the past couple months of our relationship where I was extremely tempted to say those words.... but I didn't.

I asked him how he knew. I told him that since this was my first relationship, I had no standard to compare what we had to anything else. How do I know if this is love or just intense infatuation?

I don't know for sure, he said, but what I do know that telling you is that this is a risk I have to take.